Giving Thanks

We have so much to be thankful for! Thanksgiving is a day for reflection and contentment with all that you have been blessed with. We want our family to be content and thankful so we have decided to spend our weekend focusing on people, not things. Christmas shopping shall be postponed until further notice and Black Friday will be spent sleeping in and eating leftovers! Enjoy your weekend the best way you know how! Happiest of Thanksgivings to you and yours! -Dan, Lindsy and BB

For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.  

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Spoiler Alert: A version of this photo was used for our Christmas cards.

A 50 Year Marriage

I never shared these photos of this couple whose family hired me to take photos of them. It was their 50th wedding anniversary and they had a beautiful, formal party planned. I asked them if they had any tips about love and they said, "apologize often and learn to talk to each other."  

I hope to have a love like this that lasts and lasts. 

I'm no expert, but I am ten years into this marriage thing and I think we're doing alright. Some of the advice that I can give would be....

Talk. Not always about practical things, either. Dream. Ask questions. Get to know each other even 10, 25 or 50 years later.

Celebrate. Learn to celebrate every tiny detail about your lives. New houses, milestones, promotions, goals being met. Oh, you were expecting that promotion? So what! Open a fancy bottle of something and throw a party. 

Get away. Take a vacation. Even it means camping in your living room. Turn the phones off, turn the TV off and get away.

Obviously there's a lot more to it than that. Husbands and wives.... What's your marriage advice?


And, speaking of 50 years, today is the 50 year anniversary (that seems like a cruel word to use) of JFK's assassination. Rest in Peace, John.

My Thankful List

When it comes to the Thanksgiving holiday, I'm kind of a grump. Exhibit A, Exhibit B. However, an attitude of thankfulness is something I can get into. It's so easy to fall into a rat-race, to want more than I have, and to forget how incredibly blessed I am. I hate that I have a Pinterest board titled "I Want!". I'm such a brat. Many of my friends are doing something like 30 days of Thanks and since it's almost the end of the month I'm putting my list out all at once.

I thankful for...
My happy, hard-working husband
Our amazing little boy
The relationships I've developed with my siblings and new sister-in-law
My awesome crazy family, immediate and in-laws
The Road Widows community and the support they've been to me
Music! Finding just the right song for the right mood
Our new, dependable, fuel-efficient family car
Good social workers
Amazon Prime (free 2-day shipping!)
Our trip the State Fair which singlehandedly turned Jack and Audrey into BB's BFFs
The lack of rain in the PNW this year
Our amazing vacation to the Mediterranean
10 years of marriage
An abundance of warm scarves
An early Christmas tree

What are you thankful for? If you blogged it, post your link in my comments.

The Hard Stuff

I'm very private about my private family affairs. I've kept this blog light and sweet, sharing some of our adventures and photographs that I've taken of happy people and pretty things. That's going to change. At least just for today. This is really scary to click "publish" on this one. After my brother's wedding I was able to edit it- for the better- and I have hope that peace and contentment are possible even in the midst of a crappy situation.

Three years ago my family started to fall apart right around the time that Dan started touring and we moved out of the home we owned. My life, everything I knew, had changed and I was a total mess. Everything was out of control, out of my control. I look back at those times and they're a blur but with intense moments of clarity. Endless crying, trying everything to ignore how much I hurt. I prayed. I plead with God everyday to make it stop. I still remember almost every detail about that phone call from my dad; I remember every word, where I was, what I was wearing, what I was feeling. He moved onto the yacht he had just bought. The summer was uncomfortable. My 27th birthday was spent with both parents and some of my oldest friends, jumping off the deck of that boat into the cool Columbia River, pretending it wasn't awkward that my mom and dad didn't live with each other anymore.

The divorce was final nearly a year ago. Making plans and trying to make everyone happy. To be fair. But, it's not fair; I didn't choose this. And sometimes, honestly, I want to walk away from it all. I miss our old, normal life. Most of the time I just put on a half-hearted smile. Most of the time I do it for BB. This is our new normal and I'm trying to figure it out, to be a leader for my siblings because family is important.

"Hi, I'm 30 years old and I'm from a broken home."

It's really, really hard. I know that many people have been in my shoes. I'm praying that God will give us joy and peace - even three years later when the hurt and discomfort is still there. This is a poem for hope which was written by a woman who was blind, suffering from cancer and orphaned:

"He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater.
He sendeth more strength when the labors increase.
To added affliction He addeth his mercy.
To multiplied trials is multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed at the day's half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's forgiving has only begun.
His love has no limits.
His grace has no measure.
His power has no boundaries known unto men.
For out of his infinite richness in Jesus,
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again."  - Annie Flint

"Hi, I'm 30 years old and I'm from a broken home. And, it's going to be okay."

You Can Have a Social Life After Baby

Dan and I were married for 8 years before taking the plunge into parenting. We were married young and thought we had all the time in the world. Wiser, older couples always told us that we had plenty of time to be parents and not to rush, so we didn't. Then we got the opportunity to live in France. The one thing I wanted to do before starting a family was live abroad. (CHECK!) However, we returned to the states as new homeowners, with busy careers and we didn't feel ready. Then Dan started touring and our finances were... questionable. But now that I'm 2 years into parenting, I can honestly say that you're never ready until you have to be...and then you just ARE. We could have become parents five or 10 years ago and loved it just the same. I was speaking with some other not-yet-moms at the PNW Blogger Meet-Up. When to start a family seems to be a popular topic for the late-20s-and-married crowd. The main concern: losing their social life. While I'm not as social as I'd like to be, I haven't lost all my friends since becoming a mom. That's because we've been conscientious about how to stay connected. Here are some tips:

Invite your friends over to your place.  If you dont yet have children you're probably meeting your friends for happy hour or coffee. Once baby comes that's just not going to be feasible. (If you have friends with kids then you already know this.) When we knew we were going to be parents we started to have more "parties" so that our friends would be comfortable hanging out at our house. We'd serve chips or drinks and just sit around and talk, occasionally we'd put on a movie. 2 years later, our friends know that BB goes to bed at 7 and they are totally comfortable coming over to watch a movie and relax at our place instead of going out.

Get a babysitter without breaking the bank.  For some reason babysitting has tripled in value since I was in the biz. An average babysitter is $10/hour. I dont need to tell you that that's expensive. That's, like, the cost of 20 diapers for an hour out of the house. So, are you a photographer? painter? hair stylist? artist? Find someone who can benefit from your skills and trade for babysitting hours. If you friends have kids, you can easily trade babysitting with them. We even have a few single friends who like the peace and quiet at our house and will work or watch TV so that Dan and I can get out of the house for a date while BB sleeps.

Find other families to hang out with.  A lot of our friends with kids are out and about on the weekends, trying to show our littles a good time. Why not hook up with them? We don't get the chance to see them during the week since we all work and the kids have strict schedules. On the weekends you can go to the zoo or meet at a park so that the kids can play and you can have an adult conversation (that probably revolves around the kids because... C'mon. We're obsessed.)

Dont give up on your single or child-less friends.  Think that starting a family will distance you from your single or married-without-kids friends? Wrong. These are the people that still  have time to hang out! There may be some younger folks who are weirded about your new baby and that's fine. They'll come around when the time is right. To be honest, most of our single friends have been very supportive of our new lifestyle. They seem to love BB and they seem to love watching TV at our house instead of theirs.

Becoming a parent is a huge life-changing thing. Make sure your friends - those with kids, those without kids, and those who never want kids - can be a part of it!

Top photo by 2 Sis Photos, edit by me.

Husband's Shirt and Passé Boots

I've been wearing a lot more color and a lot more vintage lately. Why? Because my fall wardrobe is boring and buying new clothes isn't in the cards. My solution: I'm borrowing Dan's clothes and buying thrifted things.

Shirt: Dan's, Boots: ebay, Jeans: Target, Socks: H&M, T-shirt: American Apparel, Cowl: Target, Bag: thrifted.

I dated a boy in high school who wore the same size as me and it was perfect. We shared T-shirts and ripped up jeans. That was back when the T-shirts needed to be tight and the jeans were loose. I'm 30 now and styles (my style) have changed a lot since then. Most of the styles these days are looser and natural. So, let's talk about wearing your husband's clothes in 2013. Chances are, you're not the same size as your husband. That's okay! When I wear one of Dan's shirts I just roll up the sleeves and it works out okay. I've also borrowed a few of his cardigans. These are super cute over mini dresses. Try it! You just might expand your wardrobe by a few items. 

I went a little crazy on ebay a couple of weeks ago and got some great deals but for some reason I bid on these ankle boots. I forgot about them, won them, and paid a lot for them and... I didn't even really like them! Dansko's are hard-soled and made for long days on your feet. I wore them to one of Dan's local shows and walked a few miles through Seattle and I must say, they got the job done. I'm wearing them, no matter how nerdy they may be. I like them and that's what matters.

I tried to style them so they weren't so dowdy. I cut off these jeggings to suit the ankle boot, added a fur cowl, fabulous vintage bag, statement socks and the magic ingredient: my husband's dress shirt. 

PNW Blogger Holiday Party | Union/Pine

Guess what? I went to an event ... alone! I bought a ticket to the PNW Blogger Holiday Party without knowing who was going first. I am so glad I did. I met so many new people and tried to reconnect with the old. It turns out that 3 hours really isn't long enough to mingle. I brought my camera in case of any awkward moments between conversations but there really weren't any so I didnt take as many photos as I would have liked. Especially because I want to live in Union/Pine for the rest of my life but since I cant, I'll just look at all the photos whenever I need to dream. 

The gift bags were phenomenal and I am stoked on my new Sunglass Warehouse shades and the London wallpaper by Graham & Brown will be used as soon as I have a home to put it in.

with Ericka of Rouge and Whimsy... we wore the same tights and similar boots!

 What a blast!

My So Called Life

I think I am officially, fully living in the 90s. Maybe it's the fact that I bought combat boots or maybe it's my new haircut, reminiscent of the amazing Claire Danes in My So Called Life. Either way, consider me obsessed. This outfit is similar to what I wore to the PNW Blogger party - except I traded the T-shirt for a blouse. If it were truly the 90s, I would have untucked the T-shirt and wrapped a flannel around my waist. Instead of full grunge, the fitted cardigan gives it a little teensy tiny bit of modern sophistacation. I was totally comfortable and casual and yet I was in a skirt and tights. Win-Win.

Since most of my outfit is thrifted or borrowed or really old, here is a similar look for an affordable price! Psst...Those boots are only $20! And the T-shirt is the most expensive item. Bargain shoppers, get to it!

Inspired by My So Called Life

BB was trying to get my attention so this was my reaction. Naturally.

Pride and Dissapointment

Today I am proud of my son because: Today he "read" The Very Hungry Caterpillar ("Moon! Egg! Leaf! Pop! Strawberries!") and he told us when his tummy hurt and said that I was his best friend.

Today I am disappointed in my son because: During nap time he took of all his clothes and diaper (first time ever doing that) and peed and pooped in his bed and didn't sleep at all.

There are great days and bad days as a mom. Today was both!

What are your most proud and disappointing moments as a parent?

One Child | Anthem Coffee & Tea | Dan's Debut

Last Friday we gathered in downtown Puyallup's Anthem Coffee & Tea for an organization called One Child. Their purpose is to raise awareness about foster care. Some stats that they shared:

• In Washington state there are over 8,000 foster children. 
• 75% of them are separated from a sibling. 
• 55% of them return home to a parent, 29% find permanency through adoption. 
• Each year, over 400 children "age out" of foster care meaning they reach the age of 18 having never been adopted or found a permanent place to call home.

Since this was Dan's first solo show debuting his new music we decided to keep BB out late so he could see Dan play. The place was packed, BB was as vivacious as ever and I snapped a few photos. We put the boy in his pajamas and the stroller and he watched daddy play with wide eyes and a smile. Afterward both boys got lost in their cell phones and we headed home for a 90 minute later than usual bed time. I'm glad we did it - for the amazing hospitality of Anthem, for the experiment in keeping BB out late and for this great cause. 

If you'd like to learn more about One Child or are interested in becoming a foster-parent, click here.