A BLOG BY LINDSY READ

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Why We Became Foster Parents

There are many reasons why Dan and I chose to become parents via foster care.  Put simply, fostering was how we wanted to start a family; we wanted the chance to adopt a child.  But, when I really sat down to think about why I wanted to be a foster parent, I can trace it back to a news story I watched as a teenager.  It was a special news segment about child abuse.  A three-year-old boy was horrifically beaten by his  parents.  Still ingrained in my mind is the picture of this gorgeous, sweet, blonde boy smiling through two black eyes, a smile that could light up the darkest night.  I wish I could remember his name.  I still get tears in my eyes thinking about him.


What fostering a child has done for me and my heart has been life-changing.  Being a foster parent has been the most rewarding experience of my life.  I'm taking care of someone's child, loving him as my own, attempting to give him the best childhood possible and showing him that there is a God who loves him.  You might think that being a part of foster-care would harden my heart, build up anger in my soul about the way these children have been treated.  But, I have learned about the overwhelming chaos of addiction.  I have learned that every parent loves their child - no matter what their behavior may exhibit.  Above all, I have learned that God is in the business of changing lives and I know in my heart that foster-care and fostering-to-adopt is God's perfect plan, no matter if the child returns home or gets adopted.  I am so thankful for the foster program, flawed as it may seem at times, because it has opened my eyes to how big God's love is.  

I believe that anyone and everyone who enjoys parenting should consider being a foster-parent.  You just need a little room in your home and in your heart.  (Cheesy, right?  I came up with that.)  To quote my friend, Janelle, a placement coordinator at our agency, "A lifetime of change can begin with just one word: 'Yes.'"

I would love to answer any questions that you may have.  So, ask me questions!  Ask me anything!




** I was given pre-approval to post this by our agency.  

11 comments:

  1. Looove finding other foster parents with the same heart. More people's hearts would be broken for the kids if our country knew more about it! Thanks for sharing, looking forward on following along in your journey!

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  2. I had a few questions. Did you love BB immediately? I know that's a weird question but when I was pregnant I was so scared and anxious something was going to go wrong and that he would be taken from me so I had a hard time getting attached to Lyric. It took about 4 months into my pregnancy to let my anxiety rest and let myself love him. I thought maybe since as a foster parent you never know whats going to happen and that the child might leave so I didn't know if that was a fear. Also I was wondering if you guys were adopting BB or just doing foster care? You and Dan are seriously amazing for what you are doing and letting God lead your life! Oh and I hope to one day know BB's given name :)

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    1. I did love BB immediately. He was just so precious and innocent! My love for him was pretty shallow at first but it has grown as he's attached to us and we to him. I've never had a biological child but I dont imagine that I'd love a bio child any different than I love BB. It's true, foster care is unpredictable. We were told by a seasoned veteran foster-mom that you can never hold back your love for these kids. These kids desperately need to know that they are loved whether they're with you for a week, a year, or forever. We are the adults, we can handle the loss and even though it would be painful to lose a child that's not reason to withhold love! As for BB, we will be sharing his name soon!

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    2. Thanks for your honesty. I didn't want to sound bad for how I was feeling. I was just curious. I have step children and I of course love them but I don't know why it feels differently then the way I love Lyric. I feel horrible about it but I don't know why it feels like that. I'm obviously not a very good person because of it but I am not sure what to do about it.

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    3. Dont feel bad! Step children are different - and they're probably grown. I think it's much different with a baby.

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  3. Amazing!! BB (and your future foster kids) are SO blessed. God's love truly is infinite and shines so brightly through you :)

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  4. I think you know I'd love to foster/adopt, especially after following your journey with BB. But Chris is much more hesitant. He fears that the worst would happen, whether that be we'd fall in love with a kid only to have him taken from us, or that we wouldn't connect with him in the first place. I'm curious if you and Dan were both on the same page from the get go, or if one of you needed more coaxing.

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    1. I think that we both had those same fears. Yes, it would be difficult to lose a child but we both decided that we wouldn't regret doing this even if BB left. Our agency (and the 30 hours of training you go through) is really good about connecting you with seasoned foster parents to answer those questions and share their stories. I haven't heard any of them say they regret doing this. Many of them develop relationships with the birth parents and still see the child regularly and those are really cool stories. Other times, you never hear from them again. So, it's hard but you do it because you know you're making a difference.

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  5. PS. Thank God Dan cut his hair. : )

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Thank you so much for commenting! I love feedback and I read every comment and would love to respond to you! If you want to be notified of a response, click that little "notify me" box! xo, Lindsy

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