Rage Blackouts

There are two inside jokes in this blog. #1 rage blackouts and #2 I'm always right.

Let's start with rage blackouts. Anyone who is a fan of the O.C. will recall that Rachel Bilson's character, Summer Roberts, suffered from rage blackouts. This made for plenty of funny conversations between Summer and her boyfriend, Seth (known to most as the actor, Adam Brody).

Sometimes I get rage blackouts. I dont get violent, I just get mean. I dont really like admitting this. It's not as bad as it sounds, either; hence the fact that we call it an inside "joke". Daniel is very patient with me and has taught me to laugh it off.

The other inside joke is that I'm always right. This is obviously not true but sometimes when I need a good pat on the back, a reassurance, a false sense of superiority, I just remind myself that I have "always" been right about "everything". It's nice and it's a funny joke. When it comes to life's big decisions, relationships, how to deal with people or how to deal with God... I'm your gal. I'm almost always right.

These 2 ideas tie in, I promise.

This morning I got into an argument with Dan about music in church. Dan and I are part of a community that meets in a friends' living room on Monday nights. A few of our colleagues haven't stepped foot in a church in years. Some of us have been burned by church leaders or peers. We are bonded together by the fact that we know that we cannot "do life" alone and we know, or at least we think, that the Bible has the answers. We know that we were created to be in community with one another. We need to share each others burdens and be vulnerable with one another. Authenticity requires a safe space and loving people.  Authenticity is never forced. Authenticity breeds in a comfortable environment.

If other people aren't comfortable in our community, then I'm not comfortable. That's just how I am. I can feel awkwardness, I read body language like a book.

The argument this morning was about personal preferences. We both love music. Dan sees it as a tool to bring people closer to God, which I agree with. However, it feels out of place in our little community and seems to separate us more than unite us. Just my opinion. I am going to explore this a bit more. If you have any opinions on that, please comment!