Leaving for France...without the Baby!?

If you had seen me last Wednesday, the look of shock on my face would have told you that I wasn't ready  (mentally or otherwise) for a baby to come into my life.  We've been preparing for this for months but it still came as a shock.  Dan was out of town and I had about two weeks of free time to work and clean and prepare for our trip to France.  Or, so I thought.

When we got Baby Bread but there was a glaring question:  What about France?  Our case manager said she was already lining up the perfect respite home for him.  I've gone back and forth about going or not going, coming home early, feeling guilty, feeling judged by everyone.  Then I realized that it's simple.  I have to go on this trip.  There are people in France, Washington State, Utah, and Niger who are counting on us leading this trip.  I've been saving and planning for months and the agency knew all about this trip and they still thought Baby Bread was perfect for our home.  We've been working on getting him to attach to us and we think he has so he should recognize us when we return.  I know the little guy has been through a lot.  It just means extra hard work and dedication for us when we get back.  He will need to know that we are his family and he is safe with us.  Also, as our case manager mentioned, this will be our last vacation, especially overseas, for a long time.  Babies change everything.

It was difficult to leave him, of course.  I've only had him a week and I want to spend more time with him.  I know he's going to be confused but the home he's staying at couldnt be more perfect!  His temporary mama is a registered-nurse-turned-stay-at-home-mom who has raised 3 school aged children of her own and a foster child who is a toddler.  She has a nursery set up and she "loves babies!".  We are so excited that she is so excited.

So now we are in France, missing our kiddo but loving the country that our heart belongs to.

Vive la France!

XOXO,

Lindsy