Blair's 30th Birthday Giveaway!

Some people don't like getting older, but my girl Blair (over at Wild & Precious) sure does and this lovely group of Blair's blogging buddies and I have teamed up to throw her a big birthday giveaway celebration in honor of her 30th birthday tomorrow! If you dont read Wild & Precious.... you should! Blair is sweet and creative and thought-provoking. She's a mother of 2, wife to an AMAZING artist, David, and she has the raddest style. A Tennessee native, Blair has been a friend to me since the move to Nashville. Check her out and sign up for that giveaway! Happy birthday, Blair!

Our birthday girl: Blair / Wild & Precious
The Hosts:  Erika / Rouge + Whimsy  ..  Kacia / Coconut Robot  ..  Jessi / Suzie Studios

Moriah / Moriah Makes  ..  Sandy / Sandy a la Mode  ..  Lindsy / LMR Photos  ..  Kara Kae / the Mom Diggity 

What's the prize?  Blair has themed her upcoming 30th year as the "year of boho" -- so this giveaway is FULL of great accessories and gift cards to keep you boho styling.  One winner takes all.

The Prizes: Winner's Choice of Ray-Bans from sunglassesshop.com, $50 gift certificate to heels.com, $50 gift certificate to Conversation Pieces, $40 Anthropologie gift certificate, a fashionABLE scarf, brown panama hat from Gypsy Threads, $30 gift certificate to Rouge + Whimsy, and a boho head wrap from Suzie Studios! -- that's a loot over $375!!

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We're Gonna Make It

Liam and I have seen Dan less than thirty days this year. Save for our cross country move and a week at Easter we haven't seen him more than 2 days in a row for these first 5 months of 2014. We said it before and we'll say it again: If we can make it through the first half of 2014, we can make it through anything. We made it, folks! It was hard. Our relationship is what got us through the loneliest and poorest times of our life. Struggles can quickly show the cracks in a marriage and in some cases make it stronger. I think we're stronger. 

Re-entry after months of travel is always hard. He's in my way, literally and figuratively. He's trying to help but doesn't know where the kitchen towels are, for example. We'll find our rhythm these next 2+ weeks and then he leaves again. That's the life we lead. I'm just so happy he's home. 

A few days ago I wasn't so sure but I know now that we're going to make it down here in the South. it's only May and I'm pretty sure we've hit temperatures that the NW has never even seen. I like hot, humid weather... on vacation... for a week... in a swim suit. But living in it? That's a whole other story. Summers in the NW are so pleasant and rarely "too hot". It's a whole new world where summer starts in April and ends in October and "too hot" happens more frequently than anyone is willing to admit to this Nashville-newbie. Thus, my new summer survival must-haves: 

1. midi-skirts 
2. tank tops (duh) 
3. sports bras (24/7 uniboob and I dont even care)
4. trips to the lake
5. popsicles 
6. a giant cup full of ice water at all times
7. top knots

What are your summer must-haves?

Skirt: thrifted. Tank: H&M. Wedges: Target. Bangle: thrifted.

Monster Bunnies at the Farmer's Market

You guys! I mean. Y'all! It's so hot and I don't know what to wear. I wore PANTS in muggy, 85° weather and it was so hot. But, I hate shorts and sometimes skirts are just a big to-do. I didn't event want to do outfit photos but Blair insisted and she took great photos so I'm showing them off. So, here is my extremely casual outfit that I call:  OMGITSHOTWHATDOIWEARTOTHEFARMERSMARKET.

Top: GAP. Boyfriend Jeans: currently on sale at GAP. Shoes: Converse. Glasses: gift (similar).

I just love farmer's markets. Local aritsans with a platform to show off their wares. It's so awesome. The kids got their faces painted. They are monster bunnies or bunny monsters... I cant remember which. We sampled strawberries and mini donuts and I brought home something called sorghum. It's a type of molasses. Super southern. I'm putting it on pancakes, ASAP. 

Blair and Magnolia joined us! (Blair took all of these photos that have me in them). Magnolia and Liam are precious together. She's just a few months older and she is so incredibly funny. I love the way Blair encourages and redirects her. They have a cute relationship. I hope the same can be said for Liam and I. Although, on this particular afternoon I bruised his arm when I grabbed him before he skedaddled into traffic. I then screamed something in his face and lectured him, through tears, on the way home about how much that scares mama and how sad I would be if he got hit by a car. Ah, motherhood. I promise I was kind but perhaps the heat is getting to me?

What do you wear when it's hot? Please send me all your tips! Sincerely, a Pacific Northwesterner melting in the South. xoxo

Around Nashville: Arrington Vineyard

I'm going to start a new series of places I love in Nashville. These places are likely nothing new to the Nashville native - or anyone who's lived here more than a year. But, since I like to explore and document a new series is born: Around Nashville. 

Last weekend we visited Arrington Vineyard. Our friend Angee, the one with the vibrant red hair, was celebrating her 30th birthday! We brought blankets, cheese, crackers, fruit and a bag'o'tricks for Liam. When we got there I was pleasantly surprised by the ambiance. Not only is there a hillside full of shady trees and scattered picnic tables, there are actual rows of grapevines and a beautiful tasting room that had a very homey, lodgey, Pacific Northwest feel. Guests of Arrington, Angee's party included, decorate their tables with floral arrangements and colorful blankets. The hillside was alive with color, running children and happy chatter.

Perhaps an even greater surprise was Angee's engagement ring! John proposed that day and she got to surprise each new party guest with a wave of her left hand which resulted in screams and jumping and excitement. We are so happy for you, Angee and John!

Also, the wine was good. You can buy a huge variety in the shop and they can open it for you and offer you plastic cups. The average price was about $25/bottle. 

Liam was able to run, play and dig in the dirt and I was actually able to relax. Oh, Arrington, we'll be back for sure!

I'm not sure who took this group photo but it wasn't me as I'm the one on the right with my mouth hanging open and a child on my shoulders. The last picture is one that Liam took of me. Not bad for a novice photographer, eh?

Church Shopping

I truly thought our family would have a church community by now. I want it so bad and it's been so heavy on my heart. For me, church is not something I do. I'm not looking to fulfill a to-do list each week. I want to be a part of something. I am longing for consistent community in a city of transient musicians. I not only want it, I need it. Liam needs it, too.

Since there are so many churches in this city Daniel and I decided, before we got here, that we'd try 6 churches and then pick one. Being from the NW, the most un-churched region of the USA, I am overwhelmed by all the choices out here in the Bible Belt. We had a short list of "must-haves". The first thing was peers and a program for Liam. The second was friendliness. With friendliness I wanted an ease of getting plugged in. I've been-to/ seen/ heard-of too many churches with a small group waiting list and no need for volunteers. There were other desires but these are truly "must-haves".

Of the 8 churches (not 6!) I've been to in Nashville, sometimes it just didn't feel right. Most of the time it was the nursery. In my experience church shopping, the nursery greeter was, in all cases but one, stressed out, uninterested, unengaged, or insensitive. I even heard a nursery greeter complain that the workers didn't show up and forced her teenage daughter to stay with the kids. My kid. At one church Liam was the only kid in his class so some woman had to sit there with him for 2+ hours - which I didnt think was fair. Then there's the fact that no one would talk to me. Sometimes I tried really, really hard to be friendly. Other times, like today, I wore all black and kept my head down, perhaps trying to be unapproachable. As a test? I'm not sure. It didn't work. Good for you, "Brittany"! I really liked you but your nursery-checker-inner ruined it for me.

It's not a denominational thing, the size, location or socioeconomic status of its members that have made me cross a church off my list. It's people. Church is made up of people and people are flawed and we all so desperately need Jesus.

We had many recommendations and every church I've tried has come with a stamp of approval from a friend or acquaintance. How do you tell someone you didn't like their church? It's like telling them you don't like their family. We continue to get recommendation after recommendation and I am, to be honest, overwhelmed. I am so happy for everyone in Nashville who has found a place to call 'home' and a church community to call 'family' but I cannot continue to be a visitor, a window shopper, every single Sunday. As a newcomer to the South I already feel out of place. Why torture myself every 7 days and really dig the knife in deeper? I wish I was kidding. It is torture. 

After some soul searching and praying this afternoon, I am ready to commit. The church that felt right from the moment I walked in. The place I've gone to the most since being here, fits almost all of our "must-have" criteria. It is a small enough church that someone would notice if I didn't show up. They have the best children's program I've seen. They're friendly and deep and spontaneous and Biblical. They love Liam. They ask about Dan. What more do I need?

This is the first time in my life that I'm happy to be done with a shopping spree.

---

If you're a church-goer what do you look for in a church? What are your must-haves?

YOLO

I've decided to be less of a, pardon the term, slave to Liam's schedule. He's a big boy. He has stayed up 2 or 3 hours past his bedtime before and he was totally fine. So when I found out that one of my favorite new bands was playing a free all ages show I planned to take Liam. Then I got booked for a wedding rehearsal so I tabled the idea. I am normally a strict scheduler but being the mom of a toddler in a town that's notorious for horrrrrrible traffic, you've got to be flexible. Here's how last night went down...

3:12pm Left the house. Liam asks if we can go for a walk. We walk to the end of the street and run back to the car.
3:16pm Hit the road. Travel approx 9 miles.
3:28pm Pop into Walgreens to get a giftcard for a wedding card I'm mailing to New Orleans. Liam insists on staying in the car. This is probably illegal but, hey, you just made my trip 100 times faster. Sit tight, bud.
3:31pm Card procured. Finagle my way across 8 lanes of traffic to the post office.
3:45pm Get a call from Dan. I tell him I'll call him when I'm out of USPS.
3:52pm SHORTEST USPS LINE EVER.
4:05pm Time for everyone in Nashville to get into a major accident.
4:10pm Weave through back roads to get around a gnarly 3 car pileup.
4:17pm Back on track.
4:30pm Drop Liam off at a drop-in daycare center. He is stoked. I am nervous. I rush out to just make it easier on both of us.
4:50pm Arrive at the wedding chapel 10 minutes early.
5:00pm Wedding rehearsal.
5:48pm We're done!? I guess I get to go see The 1975 at Grimey's which is 7 minutes away.
6:01pm Park my car.
6:03pm Waiting in the courtyard. Where is the band? Is my friend Jamie here? Relax, just enjoy the fact that you're at a show for free.
6:04pm Jamie shows up! We start to wonder where the band is. I dont have much time.
6:10pm The band starts to set-up.
6:22pm The band shows up and plays three amazing songs.
6:38pm I run to my car and drive the wrong way for a minute before GPS tells me I'm going the wrong way.
6:59pm Arrive at the daycare center.
7:04pm Head home with the happiest kid ever. Laughing and eating the rest of his dinner, which was a healthy version of a Lunchable. I hear all about basketball and something about a monster truck.

He was in bed by 7:40pm, passed out at 7:42 for sure. I am so glad when I do stuff like this. Sometimes it's just easier to excuse yourself from things like that. You can blame the kid, or his bedtime, but really I'm just lazy sometimes. I'm not going to do that anymore. YOLO, right?

That singer is a total babe, BTW.

Change Your World

"You dont know what you've got til it's gone" is one of the saddest and truest statements. We lived in Tacoma for a cumulative of 8 years together. For many years it was a struggle. We didn't always have great friends and a huge part of that was that we didn't try. I didnt know myself when we first got to Tacoma, a young newlywed in a new city. I didn't know that I needed social interaction to feel normal. I worked long hours to avoid being lonely. It took years to get what we had and what we had was amazing. Some of the best friends in the world, many of them within walking distance from our most recent home, are in Washington.

I need a lot of social interaction. In the midst of the onslaught of introvert pride circling around the internets lately, I feel the need to explain that it's not easy being an extrovert, either. I do not need "me time" to feel rejuvenated. Rather, too much time alone makes me anxious, stir-crazy, depressed. Before we moved to Nashville I always had people I could call to hang out with. I am happy that I have that here now, too, although 95% of our friends here are touring musicians and their spouses so scheduling gets a whole lot trickier. I need to [almost daily] remind myself that -

1. We've only been here 3 months. 
2. Dan has been in Nashville less than 20 days in those 3 months. 
3. It takes a long time to build friendships.
4. It takes even longer to find friends that are comfortable coming to your house at 9pm on a Tuesday just to chat for 30 minutes.

Giving myself grace is one of the hardest parts of all of this. I keep thinking I "should be" doing this or that and it's time to refocus. "Change your thoughts and you change your world." -Norman Vincent Peale.  I sure hope you're right, Norman. A social life is very important to me but I also want to change my thoughts and make my days with Liam count. He's only 2 for a little while longer and he's growing up so fast! Leave the dishes for tomorrow. Get on the floor and play Legos more often. Invite people over. 

Time to make a change.

Wedding Planning

I got my first client! I'm planning a fall wedding reception. The bride likes purples and whites. We're doing draping and lighting on the ceiling, which I'm really excited about! In our initial meeting she had a fairly good idea of what she likes and doesn't like and I could tell that she had been doing some research. 

I cant believe I got married without Google images or Pinterest. I think I depended on bridal magazines and theknot.com (Funny story, I decided I should have a "knot" account for my new job and when I tried to login it said I already had an account. An account that is literally 11 years old!)

Do you think wedding planning has gotten easier or harder? If you had to plan your wedding over again, what would you do differently?

Please visit my Pinterest account to view image sources for this inspiration board.

Mother's Day

It's 6 minutes until midnight. 6 minutes until Mother's Day. My legal, official, real, legit Mother's Day. I picked Liam up in 2012 and we spent the past 2 Mother's days at our favorite restaurant: Asado. I had lobster omelets both times and dream of them fortnightly. 

Tomorrow, Dan will be in Minnesota (approximately) and I won't be eating lobster. I don't expect any flowers, I don't expect Liam to nap, I'm certain I'm not getting any of the spa treatments or gold watches that the media is throwing in our faces. But, I don't need that. I just want a moment to reflect on where I'm at. 2014 has been such a difficult year already. The excitement of moving to a new city has, at times, been overshadowed with financial stress. The joys of finalizing Liam's adoption were overshadowed with legal mumbojumbo and the world's most hasty pack-up-and-leave.  

Someday I'll look at this season and see how strong I was, how I gave up a lot of what was important to me to fulfill this dream that Dan and I had for our life. I'm already remembering how much I cried and that I plead (more than once) with Liam to give me a freaking break because mama just can't handle another tantrum. But my patience, though feeble and weary, paired with God's daily grace and sustenance got us through. Today, nearly 3 months after his adoption and our move, my son said "I like Mama". He kissed me and asked to be held, used his manners and made me laugh the way a friend can. Like, actual laughter at real things. Our relationship is evolving and changing and every once in a while I catch a glimpse of what he'll be like as a man and I know he'll be a good one.

My precious Liam Moses. I am so happy to be your mom. Thanks for being patient with me, sweet boy. 

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms, foster parents, step parents, adoptive parents, mentors, teachers and grandparents. You make the world a better place.

Fake it Til You Make it

We've turned our whole lives around to accommodate "living the dream" and right now we're in the "fake it til you make it" phase. Dan and I realized the other day that we are making less money now than we did in our first year of marriage. Only now we have a child and health insurance. Somehow we're making it work. Trust me, it's a miracle that I cant explain. We do still have a bit of savings left but mostly we're living off of a musician's salary. I'm in a weird stage where I have this amazing job that I love and hope to be very, very busy at but right now I'm still training. So, we do a lot of the free things that Nashville has to offer: go on walks, free concerts, hit the gym, visit friends, read books or watch TV. Good times.

Sometimes in pursuit of "living the dream" you find yourself in places worse than you ever imagined. I think it's best to throw a quick pity party. You need to feeeeel how sucky things are, assess it, realize it's not that bad and then pick yourself up and go make things happen. Fake it til you make it, my friends.

Doubt will kill your dreams faster than failure ever will.

This is an outfit I could wear to a client meeting but not to an event. The skirt is too short. It's a dress from Rodarte for Target a few years ago. (I wish Rodarte for Target was on constant rotation.) Leopard print is so fun to work with. It goes with so many things and I love adding a pop of random color. Also, I guess tying your shirt up like this is cool again? So, basically my 10-year-old-self is stoked that my 30-year -old-self is still rockin' this look 20 years later. Classic black heels and BAM you've got a super easy outfit. Turn those dresses into skirts, ladies. You just doubled your wardrobe.

Shirt: H&M. Dress: Rodarte for Target. Heels: Target. Earrings and bangles: gift. Photos by Blair McLeod.

Photo via: http://www.behance.net/gallery/Doubt-Poster/13454357